New Day

It's the 3rd Monday of April. 

I do not exactly know what's going on inside my heart but I know you do.

And I am just so, so excited for my major shifts and suddenlies.

I am tired of pretending and going with the flow.

It's time to unleash, break out and cross unbounded territories,

All for the King and the dream He planted in my heart.

My Grand-Pa, My Grand-Man

Christmas2014

October of 2014, we learned that my Lolo Eli has  a serious heart problem. He is 82 years old and does not really want to go through surgery and other costly operations. All his children and some grandchildren including me flew to Pangasinan to spend some special time with him. After a few days, everyone went back to their normal routine. 

Lolo also lived normally but not until this month. A week ago from this writing, he was rushed to the hospital. He has been complaining of shortness of breath. Since he got sick, there had been frequent calls and phone conversations with him. After his recent hospitalization, I have noticed that he has changed.

His joyful countenance and his happy and calm spirit has been shaken. I understand he is not going through an easy time. A month ago he told me he was ready anytime God takes him away but tonight it was different. He said that it hurts because he feels like he doesn't want to leave yet but his body is feeling low and tired. 

Most of our conversations were always fun and we could still joke around but tonight was not like that. No matter how I tried to make him laugh, I think I just made him sad. I  keep telling him he can't die just yet because he promised he will see me when I walk down that sacred aisle. 

His stay in Pangasinan has turned him into a top dog-lover.

But that is not the reason why I'm writing this blog tonight. This should be a happy post. I love my Lolo so much and I know he knows that. This year I celebrated my 31st birthday with him. I flew to Luzon all by myself and spent a week with him. I enjoyed all our non-stop conversations about church, ministry,politics and family.

The ultimate family man.

Lolo is our man. He is strength to his children and grandchildren. We all love his salvation story and his ever-growing walk with the Father.  

I will always be proud of him.It will forever be an honor to be one of his grandchildren and the oldest female grandchild.

I love you for always Lo.

My 31st birthday. New Year 2015.

Dreams

On June 23, the Kindergarten opened and welcomed 61 precious little souls. It was a joy to welcome all this children from the dumpsite community. Each with a very important and special story. IGC-SEA Foundation continues to provide LIFE for every child with the opening of this brand new learning center. Yes, we want to LOVE all these children, shower them with a daily dose of Christ's love. They come into air conditioned classrooms, with free uniforms, shoes, caring and amazing teachers, a varied and integrated curriculum, a safe and friendly environmet and a daily serving of healthy snacks worth 7 pesos only.We want to INSPIRE by regularly praising their achievements and efforts in the classroom, by highlighting positive behavior. We FEED not just their physical bodies but also the spiritual souls, telling them about the saving love and power of Jesus. Lastly, we EDUCATE not just their brains but their whole being.

My Vanilla Heart

Months, weeks and days have passed since I got a word from a couple-friend visiting the Philippines. All they told me was, "Listen to what God is telling you in your heart." I am a crazy feeler. I'm 30 and maybe, just maybe I am feeling lost when it comes to romantizicing love. 

But I am feeling in love!!! I met this man some crazy months ago. I have seen how he loves God and how he is passionate about radically living his life for him. He loves to worship, work and learn very single thing he has to. Well, if all the circumstances were just perfect around us, then I would like to think he is the man God is preparing for me and presto, we can just get married asap.

The simple fact that he is around, he is there and he makes his presence felt makes it so impossible for me not to fall for him. I cannot tell if he does things intentionally or just out of his generous and loving heart. 

At this age, I keep telling myself I no longer need a prince. Being Jane, I also dont need a Tarzan, all I need is a man I can live and serve with. Oh and he is exactly showing me he can be that man.

My 14 year old cousin knows about my petty fantasies about this man. But tonight she gave a piece of teeney-weeney advice and that is" to follow but guard my heart." Oh! what  a toughie!

Well, writing has a way of perfectly letting my heart out and so this is it. God, I pray you bless my heart. Let it stay pure for the love of you and your  ministry. My waiting will never be in vain so bless me so!

Gotta Believe

     It took me 7 months getting into this blog and just start blogging again. How I wish I had the luxury of time. Well, I'm here and I'm writing right this very moment. Oh, life is good! When you are doing the will of God and keeping in step with His plans, what more could you ask for. My circumstances doesn't have to be perfect so I can say that life is great. Everyone else's situation around me isn't. What is important is finding the joy in the things we do.
     It's been 2 and a half years since I left the classroom. I have never left teaching but the preschool world is something I really miss. But there is something more that my heart wants to share. Everyday after I celebrated my 30th birthday has been pretty exciting. I declared that this year would be filled with love and magic. That my (American/English) man dream will finally unfold. Oh, sounds really crazy but I am a believer and I know God is on the move. There is much hope and prayer in my heart right now. The dream school for poor kids, my thesis, finishing my cousin's homeschool, wanting to fix relationships, get married, finish my pastoral degree and a whole lot more. I have questions that I ask everyday and it is in the everyday that I also remind myself that I do not need to find answers. They just come when I least expect them.
     Books and children are my dearest inspiration and encouragement these days. I have immersed myself in such a crazy ministry that it's hard not to spend time with kids or steal a day away from work with a book and a tall glass of coffee.
     So what's my point? Writing makes me feel happy and glad. Believing makes me continue to live. There is beauty in brokenness. There is magic in believing.  I don't believe in magic, the world's kind of magic. I trust and hope for His heavenly kind of magic, something only Jesus can do. It's not called magic, maybe we can call it, provision or simply "miracle". He still does miracles. Still!

Thank God I'm a Woman

I miss writing and so I bet this is the perfect night, the perfect moment to just pour my heart out.
The last three days witnessed my superwoman powers. Talk about adrenaline-rush, trouble shouting, and dealing with mishaps. It had been an incredibly harrassing week but I'm glad it caught me overprepared. Yes, I am proud to say, "I passed the test." The test that seemed to me as the devil sabotaging the whole work for the kids.

Thank you God for your awesome and mighty sustaining grace. I couldn't have done it without you and all the angels you sent my way.

Reflecting it over, this world is made of of too many wimpy believers. And I say that with no mercy, wimpy!

I am so tired of all the faking, hiding and pretending that is happening around me. I am so determined to put an end to this. I don't want to waste my tears, so help me God.

Arm me with super love, grace and truth! Amen

Vanellope

 She is my Vanellope in the dump.

I do not really play favorites.

I have been a preschool teacher and an educator for 9 years now and I try my best not to have favorite kids in class.

But Resres or April Rose is different. She isn't the cutest, 

nor the smartest girl in the dump. 

There aren't so many things 

about her that stand out but I love her.